hot out here

2008 was a difficult year for the Appelstein family.  I already went into copious detail about it a few days ago.  Frankly, I don’t have the strength to rehash it now.  Suffice it to say that 2008 was a year of turmoil, despite the positive things that also happened. So I’m not going to focus on it tonight. Instead, here are the top 10 pleasant moments, musical and otherwise, of 2008. May 2009 be a better year for us all.

10)   Facebook discussions of my former local NJ shopping mall, the day camp I used to attend, and the wonder that was Pier Platters.
9)  The Cannanes at CBGB.  Like seeing old friends.
8)  The 75s.  A most unusual STL band, and a very good one.  Their Schafly Tap Room show this past weekend found them refreshed and revitalized.
7)  Discovering a batch of old hardcore fanzines in my basement and re-reading them after almost two decades.  Skins and punks unite!
6)  The St. Louis tour stop of the Chunklet Rock Bible tour, and pizza with Henry Owings afterward.  A fun night of discussing (and ridiculing) obscure 1980s indie bands.
5)  Vivian Girls’ “Where Do You Run To.”  Jury’s out on whether their career is sustainable, but man, what a powerful song.
4)  Julie Doiron and Mount Eerie at Lemp Arts Center.  My favorite concert this year.  Singing along to Lost Wisdom‘s “Voice In Headphones” – “it’s not meant to be a strife/it’s not meant to be/a struggle” – was comforting at the exact moment I needed some comfort.
3)  Saturday mornings (free admission!) with Esther and Abby at the Missouri Botanical Garden.  The girls are going to miss the Niki sculptures.
2)  Getting my J.D.
1)  Passing the Missouri Bar.  I still can’t believe I did it.  I really can’t.

2009 resolutions:
1)  To secure lawyer work and start paying off bills.
2-10)  Repeat as necessary.

First of all: Thanks to those of you who’ve emailed me about yesterday’s post.  I still need advice and/or contacts, so keep ‘em coming.

In the meantime, I’ve continued my job search.  I don’t know how many of you have ever consulted Craigslist’s help-wanted postings, but they can be amusing and/or horrific at times.  Things haven’t gotten bad enough yet that I need to dress up in a Lady Liberty costume on the streets of Webster Groves on behalf of a tax preparation agency , so I didn’t respond to that one.  I did, however, respond to a document-review ad that actually asked for a writing sample of “a step-by-step procedure of how you prepare your breakfast.”  One never knows, when confronted with such a request, whether it’s someone’s idea of a joke, or perhaps a way of confirming that people reading the actual ad, a la Van Halen’s brown M&Ms.  But since the ad asked for it, I wrote it.  I didn’t get the job (which would have only been 10 hours a week anyway), but I did come away with a blogworthy piece of writing.

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Step-By-Step Breakfast Preparation Procedure

The Appelstein breakfast procedure is fairly simple.  We tend to go for convenience and simplicity.  Although we enjoy eggs, turkey bacon, pancakes and waffles, our standard weekday is too busy and hectic to spend much time preparing such dishes.  Our four basic food groups are cereal, fruit, milk and coffee, and we prepare them virtually the same way every day.

1)    Coffee (part 1 of 2). I like one cup in the morning, but it’s essential to my routine that I do the prep work before going to sleep.  I clean out my coffee filter, add two scoops of whatever blend I have in my fridge and add water.  Although I occasionally consider myself a “coffee snob,” the truth is that I can barely tell Folgers from gourmet.  Therefore, I’ll usually settle for Kirkland generic coffee from Costco.  Occasionally I’ll splash out for Starbucks or Seattle’s Best Coffee.

2)    Coffee (part 2 of 2). If I’ve diligently performed step 1, then all I have to do in the morning is press the button and let the coffeemaker work its caffeinated magic.  While the cup fills, I add creamer (generally half and half) and sugar to my favorite travel mug.  After the coffee is done, I pour it into the travel mug and use a spoon to mix.

3)    Children’s breakfast preparation. By this time, my two preschool-age daughters will usually be awake.  Since I’m usually the first one up in the morning, I tend to be the one who prepares their breakfast.  The elder daughter likes apple cereal bars and water, while her younger sister prefers strawberry or fig cereal bars and chocolate milk.  I give them both fruit as well – usually apples, bananas or grapes.

4)    Cereal. Once I’ve served the kids their respective breakfasts, I’ll prepare the rest of mine.  I usually just have cereal with fat-free milk.  I am partial to raisin bran and Honey Bunches of Oats.  Recently our local supermarket had a special on “Just Bunches,” which consists of just the oat clusters from Honey Bunches of Oats, so we bought several boxes and mixed them with store-brand corn flakes.  It tastes almost exactly the same as Honey Bunches proper, except much cheaper.

5)    Cleanup. Usually I’ll finish my meal before the kids, so I’ll sit and talk with them.  After we’re all done, I clear my place and expect them to do the same (though the younger child sometimes forgets).  Then I help them brush their teeth.  I’ve already brushed my own teeth as part of my shower procedure.  Granted, brushing before eating cereal and drinking coffee may seem counterproductive.  Then again, I haven’t had a cavity in years, so it’s a routine I haven’t tried very hard to break.

6)    Start my day, travel mug securely in hand. My one cup of coffee will usually last me all the way until lunchtime.  If I dare to have a second cup, I’m usually jittery and tense for the rest of the morning.

7)    Alternates. Sometimes I will replace my cereal with a bagel: non-toasted, sliced down the middle, with plain cream cheese.

I’ve thought a lot about how to approach this subject, and I think the best way to do it is just to lay my cards on the table like this:

I need a job as soon as possible. Can you help me find one?

I am the sole wage-earner for my household.  I have two young children, the youngest of which celebrated her third birthday today.  We had a minimal Hanukkah this year, but fortunately our kids are too young to know the difference.

I have not worked a steady full-time job since March.  For four years, I worked as a paralegal at one of the big downtown firms by day, and I went to law school at night.  Law school was a struggle at times; I had a rocky beginning and some bad grades in my first couple of semesters.  As I went along, however, I started getting As and Bs, and identified certain areas that I enjoyed.  It turned out, for instance, that I had a knack for civil litigation, no doubt helped by my day job preparing discovery and assembling witness binders.  And although I enjoyed IP law, I was also able to handle a wide variety of business and personal injury law.

As I entered my last semester, however, it became clear that I couldn’t work a busy day job – and it was very busy at this point – and expect to pass the bar exam.  So I left the day job.  For the first few months, this wasn’t such a bad thing; I was able to collect unemployment, earn my J.D. degree, and spend the entire summer preparing for the bar.  At the same time, I kept looking for work, interviewing, and trying to secure employment for my post-bar life.  As soon as I passed the bar, I figured, my job opportunities would expand and I’d be able to start my career in earnest.  Passing the bar was key, and I worked harder on it than anything in my life.

I took the bar exam in late July.  I spent the rest of the summer working on a temporary document review project, and then the fall filling in for a paralegal at an East Alton, IL manufacturing company.  (I ended up loving the second job, and would like to pursue in-house corporate counsel work.)  At the end of my first day at the manufacturing company, I found out that I passed the bar.   It was an incredible relief – certainly the happiest moment of 2008.  After a brief moment of celebration, I went back to the temp job and pounding the pavement.

The temp job ended in early November.  I went back on unemployment and redoubled my job search.  But things had changed.  Between the bar exam and November, the entire economy imploded.  People were getting laid off and companies were not hiring.  As a result, the legal temp work has dried up for now.  My RFT work is good for some cash here and there, and my wife maintains a part-time job doing library research, but neither is enough to cover the loss of my full-time salary.

I’ve had exactly one lawyer interview since passing the bar.  At the interview, I was told that they would be interviewing 170 other candidates for two open positions.  (Later I found out that 170 was an exaggeration; there were actually only 143 other candidates.).  I’ve done some volunteering and enjoyed it, but really need to be bringing in a salary right now.

I’ve done almost everything that the legal advice books tell you to do: take charge of your career!  Identify your strengths!  Go on informational interviews and dazzle the hiring partners! In reality, none of it has worked.  Most of my law school peers are too busy trying to hold on to their own jobs.  I’ve had a few informational interviews, but most lawyers (at least the ones I’ve contacted) are busy people who don’t have time during their work days to answer questions.  I’ve expanded my job search to include other related work – paralegal, compliance manager, insurance examination, title abstractor, legal secretary.  So far, nothing.

So I’ve begun to set my sights lower and focus on what we recent J.D.s call “bridge jobs.”  This month, I finally got a couple of nibbles.  One of the clerical temp agencies came through with a customer service position; that starts in two weeks.  I also had an interview with a call center that’s interested in having me start in February or March.  Either one is better than unemployment, but neither will be enough to pay for our mortgage, car, bills and the kids’ preschool, to say nothing of the $100,000+ in student loan payments that I’ll have to start paying off someday.  I’m planning to get a second job to supplement the above – a Starbucks-type thing, perhaps.  That’ll help, and I’m definitely not too proud to sling coffee.  However, it still won’t cover my expenses completely; plus, I’ve had a hard time getting interviews for even those jobs.

I continue to apply for jobs and attempt to network, but time is running out and our savings are almost depleted.  If I do not get a real job within the next couple of months, one or both of the following may happen:

1)  We might have to declare bankruptcy.
2)  Our mortgage company may foreclose on our house.

I’ve tried everything in my power to keep them from happening.  I’ve dealt with layoffs before and always bounced back, but this time I’m having trouble finding any work at all.  And the idea that I’m putting my wife and daughters through this is killing me. The night Esther was born, I held her in my arms and promised her that things would be different in our family, that I would never put her through what my brother and I experienced.  We grew up in a working-poor household where it was not uncommon to have the power turned off. Getting the J.D. and passing the bar was supposed to help me avoid that fate.  That’s why, between work and school, I put in four years’ worth of 16-hour days to make it happen.  Instead, we are collecting food stamps and looking at the scary specter of foreclosure.

So it’s time to appeal to you, my valued blog reader.  I’ve always had a small but friendly readership, be it in print or online.  Perhaps we know each other from the St. Louis music scene, or we went to synagogue together.   Maybe we met when I lived in Seattle, or we used to see each other around NYC.  It might be that we traded fanzines or I reviewed your record.  I think of most of you as friends, and it’s in this spirit of friendship that I get on a virtual knee and ask you:

Are you hiring?  Do you know someone who’s hiring? Can you help me help my family?

I am a hard worker and have almost entirely good references.  I dislike office politics, but thrive on tight deadlines and don’t mind healthy competition. I’m definitely used to multitasking and dealing with complex information after the past few years.  You already know I can write relatively well, but it turns out I can capably speak in public, too – one of the revelations that law school brought me.

A lawyer job (including contract attorney work) would be ideal but not necessary.  I can do all kinds of paralegal/legal secretary work, including trial and appellate preparation.  My four years at the big law firm has prepared me to be flexible and efficient in my work.  However, it doesn’t have to be legal work right now.  IT help desk.  Call center.  All kinds of writing and editing, both feature-oriented and technical.  (You probably know me through music, but my first editing job out of college was at a business magazine.)  All the stuff listed on this site under “Resources.”  I’ve done a lot over the course of my career, most of it well.

I’m used to mastering a steep learning curve.  When it comes to white collar work, I can take on basically anything and learn it quickly.  I will dazzle you with my eagerness to take on new projects, willingness to work overtime and consistent ability to meet deadlines.

Let me say as well – and I’ve discussed this with my wife – that the job doesn’t have to be in St. Louis.  We’d prefer to stay here: we’ve lived here since 2003 and consider it it our home.  But if it’s a choice between starving and living somewhere else for a few years, we’ll live somewhere else.  We’ll move elsewhere in Missouri or I’ll take the bar in another state.  Whatever it takes.

If I sound like I’m panicking, I’m not.  OK, I am a little.  But I’m mostly anxious to get on with my career and start paying off bills.  And I’m hoping, dear Hot Out Here reader, that you can help me in this endeavor.  Know of something promising?  Want a resume or writing sample?  In the same position yourself, perhaps?  Email me and let’s talk.

This has been a hard post to write, but hopefully some good can come of it.  These are desperate times, and I’m not above confronting them with desperate measures.

Top search terms: Pretty much the same as last year, in almost the same order.  Lots of people looked at the YMG, Jayne Casey, Go Team, Low and Mitch Easter pages.  Not enough people looked at the Langley Schools page.  There was a disproportionate number of hits for xex, which I once again attribute to pornographic-searching web robots.  (Then again, that describes the mid-90s Electroclash scene, doesn’t it?  Perhaps I underestimate.)

Top downloads: I didn’t post very many MP3s this year, being preoccupied with graduating law school and passing the bar, but I did manage to put up a few on the site.  Congrats, Best Wishes!  Perhaps Josh and David should spend some of that Cause Co-Motion! money to restart Blue-Tounge Records and re-release the Best Wishes’ sessions.

1)  The Best Wishes, “I Never Wanted Any Of This” (409)
2)  The Best Wishes, “Sticker Box” (316)
3)  B’ehl, “Typhoon” (312)
4)  B’ehl, “Geography” (263)
5)  The Best Wishes, “Luckiest Love” (220)
6)  B’ehl, “Jammers Like Me” (219)
7)  Hot Pursuit, “Basketball” (217)
8)  Hot Pursuit, “Mousetime USA” (113)
9)  Automat, Happy Trials (83)
10)  Automat, Just Imagine Drive (82)
11)  The Receptionists, Live At Under Acme (56)

Search term by person who needs to get over it after two decades: “jon wurster is the wrong drummer for the band; bring back chuck”

Speaking of year-end festivities, this week I’m part of the RFT‘s 2008 wrap-up.  I’m on page 2 blabbing about various noisy pop bands a la Vivian Girls, Crystal Stilts and Nodzzz.  I also wax regretful on Brian Wilson’s That Lucky Old Sun.

For the first time ever, I was invited to participate in the Village Voice’s Pazz & Jop Poll.  I used to want nothing more than to be part of this poll; in my eyes, it would have somehow solidified my self-image as a real “rock critic.”   A few years after I stopped caring so much, I finally got my invite.  It seemed random until Callie reminded me that I’ve written a bunch this year for the RFT, which is technically part of Village Voice Media.

So I finally get my chance to be part of the storied Pazz & Jop Poll, and…I’ve got nothing!  Despite prolific writing and blogging, I’ve only heard a small bit of this year’s buzz releases, and am certainly in no position to put pop culture into any sort of wider perspective.  Nonetheless, here are my picks if you’re interested.  (I wrote some comments, but will withhold them just in case the VV scribes-that-be decide to reprint them.)

TOP ALBUMS

1)  The Magnetic Fields, Distortion
2)  Belle & Sebastian, The BBC Sessions
3)  Vivian Girls, Vivian Girls
4)  Beck, Modern Guilt
5)  Love Is All, A Hundred Things Keep Me Up At Night
6)  Stereolab, Chemical Chords
7)  Jennifer O’Connor, Here With Me
8)  Crystal Stilts, Alight Of Night
9)  Marnie Stern, This Is It…
10)  Mount Eerie, Lost Wisdom

TOP SINGLES (note: I could only think of 7)

1)  Vivian Girls, “Where Do You Run To” (my favorite song this year by far)
2)  Marnie Stern, “Ruler”
3)  Sexy Kids, “Sisters Are Forever”
4)  The Pains of Being Pure At Heart, “Everywhere With You”
5)  Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, “Dig!!!  Lazarus Dig!!!”
6)  Nodzzz, “I Don’t Wanna (Smoke Marijuana)”
7)  The 75s, “Finders Keepers”

Greased Lightning (lead vocal: me)
Pine Grove Day Camp production of Grease
July 1980

Leavin’ On A Jet Plane (vocal: Michelle Shapiro; guitar: me)
Pine Grove Day Camp talent show
July 1982

I attended day camp every summer as a child, and then worked as a CIT until age 16.  I did time at Mill Road, Ivy League and even the East Brunswick YMCA, but I spent the majority of my summers at Pine Grove Day Camp in Jamesburg, NJ.  It took me awhile to find my niche – I was not good at sports and very shy – but at some point in August 1978, I stumbled into the playhouse and tried out for the camp play.  As I related in my previous blog, that action literally changed my life.  In the short term, I suddenly had friends and a creative outlet, and met adults who were great, encouraging role models.  In the long term, I learned how to get up in front of people, risk foolishness, and somehow make it work.  Did wonders for my self-confidence.

But don’t take my word for it.  Why don’t you listen to a couple of songs?

First we have “Greased Lightning” from our production of Grease in July 1980.  I played Kenickie, and I was asked to sing the song.  Never mind that Danny sang it in the original script; I would be taking the solo as Kenickie, complete with that pointing-across-the-stage move you’ve seen in the movie.  I had never sung in public before; in fact, some of my fellow thespians wouldn’t let me forget how, as part of my audition for that original play, I got up and sang a squeaky, off-key version of Wings’ “With A Little Luck.”  (Just picture Alfalfa from the Little Rascals.)  But eventually I agreed to it.  You can hear how nervous I was.

You’ll note that I’m singing a sanitized version of the lyrics.  OK, I understood even then why “you know that ain’t no shit, I’ll be gettin’ lots of tit” wouldn’t work in front of the whole camp.  But it still felt awkward and wrong, like my own personal “Let’s Spend Some Time Together.”  I wish I’d been punk rock enough to sing the explicit version.  You’ll also hear a crash, followed by laughter, about halfway through the song.  That’s the sound of my fellow cast members doing a hubcap-throwing routine behind me and missing one.  Gee, why didn’t any of us end up on Broadway?

Then we have “Leavin’ On A Jet Plane” from the 1982 talent show.  It was my second-ever time playing guitar in public; the first time was the 1981 talent show, in which I backed two sisters singing “Take Me Home, Country Roads.”  As much as I hated singing in public, I loved being the backing guitarist away from the spotlight.  Toward the end you can hear people singing along, the musical director chiming in on piano…and then some boos.  What was up with that?  Don’t tell me they were saying “Broooce” or “Boo-urns,” either.  Still, all I wanted after that was to be in a band…something I ended up not doing until 14 years later.

Note: I went back and forth about whether to post these tracks.  They’re quite embarrassing, even for me.  I have tapes of other camp shows from this era, and there are moments that rival the Langley Schools Music Project for dark, nostalgic beauty.  In the end, I decided to just post two songs in which I played a featured role.  If nothing else, I got a good laugh out of hearing them again.  Hopefully you will too.

Twenty-five years since R.E.M.’s Murmur was released.  A quarter of a century.  How can that be?

Twenty-five years ago I was a high school student who regularly took buses to New Brunswick and NYC to buy records.  I bought Murmur on one of those trips over the summer, having fallen for Chronic Town some months earlier.  I fell for it pretty much immediately.  Murmur was part of one of the all-time great musical hot streaks: R.E.M. simply could do no wrong between Chronic Town and Lifes Rich Pageant.  To be an R.E.M. fan during that time was to experience Beatlemania on a micro-level – or, more to the point, a Bob Dylan level of scholarship.  R.E.M. fans loved R.E.M.: would travel to see them, visit their early Athens landmarks like religious shrines, dissect each mumbled lyric fragment for meaning, check out other bands and songwriters that they recommended.  You felt like you were part of an exclusive but sizable group.

Perhaps the greatest compliment to Murmur is that new generations keep discovering it.  In honor of a new deluxe reissue, tonight next Monday night, my friend/editor Annie will host a tribute to Murmur on her KDHX radio show, “International Pop Overthrow.”  She will play the album in its entirety, interview co-producer Don Dixon, and throw in some tracks by R.E.M.’s friends, tourmates and kindred spirits.  No podcast, so tune in to 88.1 FM (if you’re here in STL) or be sure to listen online.