hot out here

So yeah, I went to Hannibal on business and wrote the type of overwrought prose that I usually do when visiting a new city.  What’s happened since then?

Work, mostly.  I hinted in previous blog posts about starting a night job at a call center.  The night job started last month, and I’ve been in intensive training ever since.  Basically, you’re in training for six weeks, five nights every week, and you’re then set loose on the phones.  Therefore, it’s been 14-hour days every day since late March.  Training ends this Friday, though, and then I’ll work three nights a week and one weekend day – about 18 hours a week total.  Which is still a lot to deal with, but at least I get nights off during the week.

Lest you think I’m complaining…well, I am, but I infinitely prefer this situation to the one from a few months ago.  You may recall that situation: I was unemployed with no prospects, and very nervous about what we’d do.  Given the options, I’d much rather have the two jobs.  I spent four years attending evening law school on almost the same schedule, so this really isn’t much of a change.

Meanwhile, the lawyer job seems to be going well.  I like my boss and my coworkers, and they seem to be happy with my work.  It turns out that I really like doing bankruptcy law.  It may be that I’m in a unique position to empathize with our clients.  We don’t work with any big business filing Chapter 11, nor are most of our clients cheats or transients.  On the contrary, most of them are hardworking people who made honest but bad decisions, or were living paycheck to paycheck until the paycheck suddenly went away.  A couple more months of unemployment and I could very well have been in their shoes.  So perhaps I can relate to their situations from a firsthand perspective.  It probably explains why my favorite part of the job is stopping house foreclosures and car repossessions.  Right now I’m at a point where I still have a lot to learn, but can at least answer the basic questions and understand the process.

All of the above explains why I’ve been out of touch with music and current events lately.  (I didn’t hear a note of Susan Boyle, for instance, until that news cycle was almost finished.)  I did manage to jump upon the Dum Dum Girls/Mayfair Set bandwagon before it was too late.  Ever hear a band that seemed tailormade to your specific interests?  That’s how I felt the first time I checked the Dum Dum Girls out online.  Here was a band (well, solo project) that combined the noisy  acoustics of Psychocandy, echoey girl-group style harmonies, simple but effective hooks, and an appealing lo-fi flavor.  I could drop names like Aislers Set, Slumber Party and Shop Assistants, or I could drop a backhanded comment like “this is what I was hoping Vivian Girls would sound like, but so far don’t outside of ‘Where Do You Run To’ and a couple other tracks.”  And those would be accurate reference points.  But there’s something original about the DDG approach, especially the vocals, which are oddly stylized like 1980s 4AD on a four-track.  I’m looking forward to hearing much more – this could be a new favorite band.

On the other hand, I’ve been oblivious enough about local happenings, to the extent that that I did not know Tommy Keene was playing in town last night until 9 pm.  I quickly got dressed and headed to Off Broadway, and made it just in time to watch Sally Crewe and the Sudden Moves move their equipment offstage – a pity, as I wanted to see them.  I did manage to catch local legends Finn’s Motel and really liked them – a sort of intellectual, word-drenched power pop halfway between Elvis Costello and Franklin Bruno.  Tommy Keene’s new stuff doesn’t sound a million miles removed from his mid-80s hits a la “Back to Zero Now” and “Places That Are Gone,” but that’s consistency rather than a rut.   Mostly I was happy to see and hear him, and enjoyed the whole set.  Note that I left a few songs early, mindful of having to get up this morning with the kids.  Let me guess; he pulled out all the greatest hits as soon as I got into my car, right?

*  Proof that I’m tired and overwhelmed with the new job: I actually got misty-eyed during the Beastie Boys’ “Stop That Train.”  To me, the subway is a symbol of NYC, and some of my best memories of my trips back East involve long rides to Coney Island or Borough Park or wherever.  When I hear lyrics like “same old people every day/but you don’t know their names,” “now you’re stuck between stations/and it feels like an eternity,” or “sat across from a man reading El Diario,” I hear people who notice the same small details about the subway as I do.  Mind you, most of the song doesn’t apply to me; I’ve never urinated on the third rail, kicked out windows high on cocaine, been asked to “put that crack out.”  But when I hear “Stop That Train,” I can practically feel the rush of cold air as I step into the uptown A/C/E  on a warm summer night.  It’s a nostalgic memory.

*  On the same album, the Beastie Boys boast of having “more suits than Jacoby & Myers.”  Me, I’ve only owned five or six suits in my life – first one was for my bar mitzvah in 1979 – and the last time I bought a new one was in 1999 just before my wedding.  It was a navy blue suit from Men’s Wearhouse, and I’ve certainly gotten my money’s worth out of it.  I got married, went on job interviews, attended innumerable Shabboses, graduated law school and was sworn into the Missouri Bar wearing it.  (To be honest, I’m impressed that I can still fit into it.)  Now that I’m finally working in the legal field, part of my job is to represent clients at creditors’ hearings.  It’s hardly A Civil Action territory, but one must be professionally dressed all the same.  After a decade, my blue suit is looking a bit ragged.  So I took advantage of the Men’s Wearhouse’s recent two-for-one deal and bought two new suits.  I feel like a million bucks wearing them.  Grown up, almost.

*  I’ll be writing some more RFT pieces in the next few weeks.  Stay tuned.

*  Today I spent my leftover Euclid Records credit on the Titan: It’s All Pop! double CD on Numero Group.  I’m looking forward to diving in.  Titan Records was a tiny label from Kansas City; I remember seeing their ads in Trouser Press.   The copious liner notes tell the story of a label desperately trying to release perfect records at the expense of literally everything else – including the home of one of the label heads, who happened to be a married man with kids.  (How he got his wife to go along with this scheme is something I’ll never understand.)   It’s a story of heroes, villians, hope, disappointment, and (inevitably) a guest appearance from Greg Shaw.  It is, indeed, all pop, and I’m not complaining.  It doesn’t appear that St. Louis has a comparable story, but at least we had/have Jordan Oakes and his Yellow Pills fanzine and compilations (also anthologized on Numero Group).

*  Speaking of Yellow Pills: I actually went to law school and studied for the bar with Jordan Oakes’ sister.  I knew her for four years before I realized who her brother was.  She kind of knew about Jordan’s interests, but did not seem to understand he’s legendary among a small group of record collectors.  That’s a typical story, though; talking to my family about my fanzine/blogging exploits is always a bit awkward and confusing.

I’ve thought a lot about how to approach this subject, and I think the best way to do it is just to lay my cards on the table like this:

I need a job as soon as possible. Can you help me find one?

I am the sole wage-earner for my household.  I have two young children, the youngest of which celebrated her third birthday today.  We had a minimal Hanukkah this year, but fortunately our kids are too young to know the difference.

I have not worked a steady full-time job since March.  For four years, I worked as a paralegal at one of the big downtown firms by day, and I went to law school at night.  Law school was a struggle at times; I had a rocky beginning and some bad grades in my first couple of semesters.  As I went along, however, I started getting As and Bs, and identified certain areas that I enjoyed.  It turned out, for instance, that I had a knack for civil litigation, no doubt helped by my day job preparing discovery and assembling witness binders.  And although I enjoyed IP law, I was also able to handle a wide variety of business and personal injury law.

As I entered my last semester, however, it became clear that I couldn’t work a busy day job – and it was very busy at this point – and expect to pass the bar exam.  So I left the day job.  For the first few months, this wasn’t such a bad thing; I was able to collect unemployment, earn my J.D. degree, and spend the entire summer preparing for the bar.  At the same time, I kept looking for work, interviewing, and trying to secure employment for my post-bar life.  As soon as I passed the bar, I figured, my job opportunities would expand and I’d be able to start my career in earnest.  Passing the bar was key, and I worked harder on it than anything in my life.

I took the bar exam in late July.  I spent the rest of the summer working on a temporary document review project, and then the fall filling in for a paralegal at an East Alton, IL manufacturing company.  (I ended up loving the second job, and would like to pursue in-house corporate counsel work.)  At the end of my first day at the manufacturing company, I found out that I passed the bar.   It was an incredible relief – certainly the happiest moment of 2008.  After a brief moment of celebration, I went back to the temp job and pounding the pavement.

The temp job ended in early November.  I went back on unemployment and redoubled my job search.  But things had changed.  Between the bar exam and November, the entire economy imploded.  People were getting laid off and companies were not hiring.  As a result, the legal temp work has dried up for now.  My RFT work is good for some cash here and there, and my wife maintains a part-time job doing library research, but neither is enough to cover the loss of my full-time salary.

I’ve had exactly one lawyer interview since passing the bar.  At the interview, I was told that they would be interviewing 170 other candidates for two open positions.  (Later I found out that 170 was an exaggeration; there were actually only 143 other candidates.).  I’ve done some volunteering and enjoyed it, but really need to be bringing in a salary right now.

I’ve done almost everything that the legal advice books tell you to do: take charge of your career!  Identify your strengths!  Go on informational interviews and dazzle the hiring partners! In reality, none of it has worked.  Most of my law school peers are too busy trying to hold on to their own jobs.  I’ve had a few informational interviews, but most lawyers (at least the ones I’ve contacted) are busy people who don’t have time during their work days to answer questions.  I’ve expanded my job search to include other related work – paralegal, compliance manager, insurance examination, title abstractor, legal secretary.  So far, nothing.

So I’ve begun to set my sights lower and focus on what we recent J.D.s call “bridge jobs.”  This month, I finally got a couple of nibbles.  One of the clerical temp agencies came through with a customer service position; that starts in two weeks.  I also had an interview with a call center that’s interested in having me start in February or March.  Either one is better than unemployment, but neither will be enough to pay for our mortgage, car, bills and the kids’ preschool, to say nothing of the $100,000+ in student loan payments that I’ll have to start paying off someday.  I’m planning to get a second job to supplement the above – a Starbucks-type thing, perhaps.  That’ll help, and I’m definitely not too proud to sling coffee.  However, it still won’t cover my expenses completely; plus, I’ve had a hard time getting interviews for even those jobs.

I continue to apply for jobs and attempt to network, but time is running out and our savings are almost depleted.  If I do not get a real job within the next couple of months, one or both of the following may happen:

1)  We might have to declare bankruptcy.
2)  Our mortgage company may foreclose on our house.

I’ve tried everything in my power to keep them from happening.  I’ve dealt with layoffs before and always bounced back, but this time I’m having trouble finding any work at all.  And the idea that I’m putting my wife and daughters through this is killing me. The night Esther was born, I held her in my arms and promised her that things would be different in our family, that I would never put her through what my brother and I experienced.  We grew up in a working-poor household where it was not uncommon to have the power turned off. Getting the J.D. and passing the bar was supposed to help me avoid that fate.  That’s why, between work and school, I put in four years’ worth of 16-hour days to make it happen.  Instead, we are collecting food stamps and looking at the scary specter of foreclosure.

So it’s time to appeal to you, my valued blog reader.  I’ve always had a small but friendly readership, be it in print or online.  Perhaps we know each other from the St. Louis music scene, or we went to synagogue together.   Maybe we met when I lived in Seattle, or we used to see each other around NYC.  It might be that we traded fanzines or I reviewed your record.  I think of most of you as friends, and it’s in this spirit of friendship that I get on a virtual knee and ask you:

Are you hiring?  Do you know someone who’s hiring? Can you help me help my family?

I am a hard worker and have almost entirely good references.  I dislike office politics, but thrive on tight deadlines and don’t mind healthy competition. I’m definitely used to multitasking and dealing with complex information after the past few years.  You already know I can write relatively well, but it turns out I can capably speak in public, too – one of the revelations that law school brought me.

A lawyer job (including contract attorney work) would be ideal but not necessary.  I can do all kinds of paralegal/legal secretary work, including trial and appellate preparation.  My four years at the big law firm has prepared me to be flexible and efficient in my work.  However, it doesn’t have to be legal work right now.  IT help desk.  Call center.  All kinds of writing and editing, both feature-oriented and technical.  (You probably know me through music, but my first editing job out of college was at a business magazine.)  All the stuff listed on this site under “Resources.”  I’ve done a lot over the course of my career, most of it well.

I’m used to mastering a steep learning curve.  When it comes to white collar work, I can take on basically anything and learn it quickly.  I will dazzle you with my eagerness to take on new projects, willingness to work overtime and consistent ability to meet deadlines.

Let me say as well – and I’ve discussed this with my wife – that the job doesn’t have to be in St. Louis.  We’d prefer to stay here: we’ve lived here since 2003 and consider it it our home.  But if it’s a choice between starving and living somewhere else for a few years, we’ll live somewhere else.  We’ll move elsewhere in Missouri or I’ll take the bar in another state.  Whatever it takes.

If I sound like I’m panicking, I’m not.  OK, I am a little.  But I’m mostly anxious to get on with my career and start paying off bills.  And I’m hoping, dear Hot Out Here reader, that you can help me in this endeavor.  Know of something promising?  Want a resume or writing sample?  In the same position yourself, perhaps?  Email me and let’s talk.

This has been a hard post to write, but hopefully some good can come of it.  These are desperate times, and I’m not above confronting them with desperate measures.